Minor Wisdom

His finest moment as president

I was going to write a post about how sore the lower half of my 50-year-old body is, how all I did yesterday was a set of lunges with a 40-lb. barbell on my shoulders, and how today, as a result, I feel like a man who just rode his pony bareback from Beaumont to El Paso on a really bumpy trail. Instead, I’ll take the easy way out and post this news video, chronicling the president’s tour of a huge disaster zone.

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

24 years ago on the New Orleans riverfront

In 1984, New Orleans hosted the World’s Fair. In the short term, it was a financial flop. But in the long term, it gave us the Convention Center and sparked the renewal of the Warehouse District. And for locals, it was a lot of fun. Suzanne and I got season passes and went there just about every weekend. Except for the gondola across the river, the rides were nothing special. But the fair had plenty of what any Orleanian needs to have fun: good food, good music, cold beer, and lots of people. I miss it.

A few days ago, while going through some old negatives, I came across some pictures that we took on one of our World’s Fair visits (including probably a few too many of the (in)famous mermaids at the main entrance). If you’d like to have a look, to recall old times or maybe just to see what the fair looked like, here they are.

The dog days of summer

They say that the phrase “dog days of summer” has something to do with the conjunction of Sirius and the sun. Me, I define the onset of the dog days as the first day I take a shower without touching the hot-water handle. The so-called “cold water”—which fluctuates between cool and lukewarm this time of year—feels more refreshing than anything mixed with hot water. By my definition, the dog days began today. I won’t need the hot-water handle until sometime in late September. (Photo credit: My Pet Haven.)

Gatemouth: “Dollar Got the Blues”

Here’s a timely number by Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown: Dollar Got the Blues.

Rethinking depression (and how antidepressants work)

The Boston Globe has this interesting article about the nature and etiology of depression. (Hat tip to Betsy McKenzie.) Though the article is not about the high incidence of depression in the legal community, it hints at a possible reason for the correlation:

One of the first cracks in the chemical hypothesis of depression came from a phenomenon known as the “Prozac lag.” Antidepressants increase the amount of serotonin in the brain within hours, but the beneficial effects are not usually felt for weeks.

This led neuroscientists to wonder if something besides serotonin might be responsible. Duman, for instance, began to study a class of proteins known as trophic factors, which help neurons grow and survive. Trophe is Greek for nourishment; what sunlight and water do for trees, trophic factors do for brain cells. Numerous studies had shown that chronic stress damages the brain by suppressing the release of trophic factors. In a series of influential papers published earlier this decade, Duman demonstrated that the same destructive hallmark is seen in depression, so that our neurons are deprived of what they need.

How about it, gang. Anyone out there under chronic stress?

In a rare moment of candor, ...

... President Bush bids the G8 Summit “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” (Hat tip to Feddie.)

“... one nation, under surveillance, ...

... with liberty eroded for all.”

Ironically, the pastor’s name is “Lamb”

It seems somebody stole a trailer belonging to the Revolution Church in Canton, Georgia and full of stuff the church needs every Sunday. So the pastor, with the love of Christ in his heart, wrote this open letter to the thieves:

To the people who stole our trailer:

First let me say, God loves you. Second let me say we forgive you. We really don’t want to forgive you, but God says we should so we do. Third of all I want you to know that I think you are scum bags. I think you are lowlife degenerates who need a good butt kicking. Matter of fact I feel so strongly about the fact that you need a good butt kicking that I am volunteering to do it. I hope you believe in God because you should get on your knees and cry out to Him like never before because if we find you, I can promise we will kick the crap out of you. It won’t be pretty, it won’t be over quickly, and it will be very painful. I know that doesn’t sound very nice but I feel pretty strongly that is what you need.

I am curious what kind of lowlife you must be? Trust me, I have been around some pretty low ones before but never one that would be so low as to steal from a church. I understand you probably need some crack or something like that but stealing from a church would scare me. It would scare me more once I realized which church I stole it from. We are probably the only church you have ever heard of that will honestly break your legs once you are found.

Let me say again that we DO forgive you. But there are still consequences for your sin and your consequence will be toting a butt kicking. It is obvious you aren’t very smart so let me give you some advice. Get that trailer out of the county QUICK. As soon as I hit publish on this blog post a church of about 1000 crazy people will know that our black, children’s trailer has been stolen and I can promise they will be on the lookout for it. You would much rather me find you then one of them.

Best Wishes,

Gary Lamb

Lead Pastor, Revolution Church

Hat tip to Law Religion Culture Review.

If you have no sense of humor, then read no further

Have you ever imagined Chris Rose snagging a 60-second interview with the Savior of the World? Me too. I imagine it would go something like this:

CR: My first name is Christopher. I guess that makes me your namesake.

JC: I’m honored.

CR: Okay, now you’re being ironic.

JC: No, I’m not. But it’s okay; I’m used to the reaction.

CR: Speaking of names, what does your middle initial “H” stand for?

JC: Oh, that’s an embarrassing question! It stands for “Herod.” That was a very popular name when I was born. Much less popular after Herod Sr. slaughtered the Holy Innocents and Herod Jr. married his brother’s wife.

CR: Can you give me the winning numbers for the next Powerball drawing?

JC: I could. But for the good of your soul, I won’t.

CR: Meaning what, exactly?

JC: Meaning that, when I said It’s easier for a camel to pass through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God, I meant it literally.

CR: Buddha: was he where it’s at? Is he where you are?

JC: No and yes—not necessarily in that order.

CR: George Carlin asks when will you bring the pork chops.

JC: Ha! Actually I don’t eat pork. It’s okay if George wants to, though. But he’ll have to bring his own pork chops.

“It hurts me too.”

Here is Keb’ Mo’s interpretation of Elmore James’s “It hurts me too”:

And here is the original:

Who says George Carlin wasn’t a prophet?

From The Heart of the Enlightened, by Anthony de Mello:

An ancient legend has it that when God was creating the world, He was approached by four angels. The first one asked, “How are you doing it?” The second, “Why are you doing it?” the third, “Can I be of help?” The fourth, “Was it worth it?”
The first was a scientist; the second, a philosopher; the third, an altruist; and the fourth, a real estate agent.
A fifth angel watched in wonder and applauded in sheer delight. This one was the mystic.

From When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops, by George Carlin:

People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.

To help you get organized on the 4th

Here is extraordinary organist Cameron Carpenter playing Stars and Stripes Forever at the Trinity Church on Wall Street. One trick he does that I’ve never seen before is around the 2:00 mark, where he plays two keyboards with one hand.

All we, like sheep ... (Isaiah 53:6)

This morning I was flipping through George Carlin’s book When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, and came across this quotation attributed to Hermann Göring:

Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to great danger.

“Tightening the belt” indeed

Forget about the price of gasoline. The price of food, across the board, has jumped from last year. Everyone who buys groceries already knows that. For the nitty-gritty, check out these numbers published by the Cattle Network.

Hat tip to Electronic Ephemera, where Richard headlines his post “Tightening the Belt.” That should be easier for folks who can’t afford to eat.

John Hammond, “Mother-in-Law Blues”

If you look around for John Hammond videos on YouTube, you’ll find many good ones. Here’s a representative sample: a performance of “Mother-in-Law Blues.”

Now some of you out there are thinking, “If he’s going to post a song about somebody’s mother in law, then he should post Ernie K-Doe’s greatest hit.” I got no problem with that.